Run Your Community
Your runner friends are onto something
Fall in Raleigh is really showing off this year. The leaves show off their full color, the temperature feels as comfortable as your favorite pair of jeans, and pumpkin season is in full swing. Darker days may be upon us, but that’s not stopping sunrises from turning the sky into a watercolor picture. As a member of the running community, we’re here for the outdoors, and race season is in full swing. Running the City of Oaks Half Marathon with a friend reminded me why racing is so much fun. The community that shows up to race and cheer people on brings contagious energy. Runners are actively struggling to get through, both as competitors and participants. Such endeavors serve metaphorically for life: it’s up to you to run, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Running Thoughts. Ask any runner what they’re thinking about, and some common answers may include:
Another hill?!
Why does that hurt?
Wonder what I’ll make for dinner.
What time is that meeting again?
Deep existential thoughts you’ll forget about later.
You might be in your head, but when you’re outside in open air, and all you’re doing is putting one foot in front of the other, there’s something cathartic about the monotony. The hack is to turn a challenging activity into a social gathering. Suddenly, doing hard things with other people doesn't feel as hard as the pavement under your feet. It highlights essential human needs. Self-determination theory (SDT) outlines a humanistic framework for motivation and includes three components: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. When we have choice, support in personal growth, and feel a sense of belonging, we’re more likely to lead a fulfilling life. Step one: show up.
Get Out of Your Id. Showing up doesn’t take much, but it does take getting out of id mode. Freud may have been a complicated guy, but he did offer the id, ego, and superego framework. The id is like the inner two-year-old inside of us who is impulsive, demanding, needy, and only thinks of themselves. Sure, they’ll smile and say, "I love you," but they’re also looking to everyone around them to regulate them and give them their favorite snack with Paw Patrol. We need friction to make meaning in life, and in a frictionless world, it’s harder to find purpose. We know have to be innovative in creating it. The superego is the part of us that philosophizes, finds meaning, and may go down podcasts that describe Nietzsche’s work. It’s the part of us that feels inspired, and sometimes needs to touch grass. The ego helps navigate these two parts. The ego acknowledges our basic human needs, while navigating desire for more meaning and understanding.
People remember how you make them feel, and that is essential in belonging. Belonging takes active participation, and participating in society is the best immediate antidepressant and medicine for loneliness I can think of. When your world is shrinking with to-do lists, conflicts at home, and work stress, remember to look outside yourself. Friction is fulfillment. Ask your runner friend.
PS: Here's the podcast to listen to while you're debating about which health insurance plans to get...
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